Meet my new best friend

I'm not an idle person. I find it hard to relax - there are always so many things that must be done.

Even when I've had an exhausting, stressful week, a certain voice in my head likes to remind me of these things.

I call the owner of this voice "Naggybitchfacebossybum" and I imagine she looks like this:

NBFBB's voice is the one that keeps me from recovering in bed on hungover days, like a normal person would do.

She is unrelenting. Eventually, I figure it takes more effort to ignore her than to get up and do all the things.

NBFBB is particularly annoying because nothing I do is ever quite good enough.

This past weekend, NBFBB was up to her usual tricks while I was doing some washing.

But just as I was about to give in to her, a new voice piped up from inside my head.

Now, if you're one of those people who doesn't like memes (yeah, yeah, your sense of humour is just so superior!), you might as well stop reading now. The rest of you, if the above doesn't mean anything to you, click here (or here, or here). I'll wait.

OK, we're all caught up?

Well, Sweet Brown's voice has stuck with me. When I finished the washing (and no, I didn't turn the shirt inside out, and I washed it with a whole bunch of different colours!), NBFBB decided it was time to clean the kitchen.

And sure enough, Sweet Brown came through for me again.

There's a possibility of course that she'll try to take over completely, and the voices in my head will wage some sort of battle for dominance.

But for now...

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Waiting for that day

It's my birthday. Seems I just keep on getting older, without any corresponding increase in maturity.

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It's the thought that counts, right?

A year ago today, on my long-suffering husband's birthday, I cartooned about the thoughtfulness of his birthday gifts to me.

Some 366 days later, all I can really say is that I thought this would be a nice gift...

 

Thanks to the fabulous cast of this video (in order of appearance): Victoria, Loopy, Sharna, Shane, Brett, Gary, Leah, Jackson, Esther and Amar. (Your vocal stylings are divine.)

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Toe this line

 I had an idea this morning: compulsory warnings for leggings.
 

Too ambiguous? How about this:

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Sh*t my dog ate.

Abbie lives by certain rules when it comes to eating:

1. If it's food, and it's within reach, eat it.
2. If it's food and out of reach, jump/climb/stretch/dig/pull/break to get it, then eat it.
3. If it looks or smells even slightly like food, eat it.
4. If it bears no resemblance whatsoever to food, eat it.

This means we're very familiar with the staff at our local vet hospital; I barely need to state my name when calling before I'm asked "What has Abbie eaten now?"

As a result, I consider myself something of an expert* on the digestive capabilities of labradors, but the intricacies of what is and is not toxic to dogs can be hard to remember. Hence, I've drawn this handy chart as a reference tool for common scenarios.

In case you're wondering, after eating toxic stuff dogs are given an injection to make them vomit, and then charcoal to absorb remaining toxins. I'm not sure exactly how the charcoal is administered, but I'm fairly certain it's one of the few things that Abbie doesn't wolf down with glee.

*By "expert" I mean person with absolutely no veterinary training and even less common sense. Would a smart person let her dog eat this stuff? Don't use this chart as a substitute for advice from your vet.


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The one about the cat

I have owned "normal" pets before, as has Drew. But something about our joint raising of fur kids seems to produce animals of less-than-ideal temperament.

Abbie, for example, in addition to all her other issues, has recently started barking at her reflection, even though she's slept in front of the mirror her whole life. 

Even our fish were suicidal.

But our most challenging animal was definitely our cat. 

Wily went through a particularly difficult stage when we moved house.

We were told not to let him outside until he had adapted to his new home, but he didn't adapt. He started, um, spraying. On everything.

We took him to the vet, who diagnosed him with anxiety. 

We were instructed to give him what was pretty much "Cat Valium" - a task that is much easier said than done.

But once we finally did it, he turned into a zombie.

The spraying stopped, but we felt awful. The floppy lump of fur that never moved from the bed just wasn't our cat.

One day I saw another cat in our yard. I wondered if maybe Wily had seen it before, and if his territorial instincts had actually been the cause of his "behaviour issues".

The vet said it was possible, so we took him off the drugs and let him go outside...
And he returned to his normal self pretty quickly.

He wasted no time trying to teach the other cat, Baxter, who was boss.

During one particularly nasty fight, Baxter scratched a large chunk out of Wily's head, and back to the vet we went.

Things carried on like this for a while, then one morning Wily left the house as usual, but didn't come back that night.
Well-meaning friends suggested that maybe he had found a new family he liked more than us and had decided to move. While possible, I doubted this was likely.

We never found out what happened to Wily, but of course I have my suspicions.

RIP Wily. We will never forget you.

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And then I cartooned a whole freaking video

Big, big snaps to the very talented Brett Every for writing such a gorgeous song. Your faith in my ability to do this was almost totally unfounded but I'm glad it was there.

Free song download at www.brettevery.bandcamp.com/
From the new album (out later this week) 'Tales of Ten Men' - www.itunes.com/brettevery
Artwork & Animation by Jo Knox - www.facebook.com/morethanatraceofnuts
Guitars & Vocals - Brett Every
Guest Vocals - Belinda Crawford

Why I'm not here (except for right now while I'm explaining why I'm not here...)

I'm working on something big. It's massive! It's also nearly killing me, but in an almost enjoyable masochistic way. Sort of.

Here is a sneak preview - I look forward to revealing the rest soon!

 
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Why I post so infrequently

I should admit that this cartoon also originated as Drew's idea. (In his version, he was funnier.)

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