More than a trace of nuts: How to make a blockbuster

Friday 15 July 2011

How to make a blockbuster

What I learned from Transformers 3

Lesson 1: Hire a hot young actress. Apply fake tan liberally.

Cartoon Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in underpants

Hire a male lead that teenage boys can identify with

Cartoon drawing of Shia Labeouf

Shoot a variety of scenes in which hot actress is dressed provocatively

Shoot a ridiculous number of equally ridiculous action scenes

Transformers 3 makes no sense whatsoever

Ask the work experience kid to write dialogue linking the scenes together

Work experience kid with tongue out in concentration

Add more gratuitous scenes

Cartoon Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in white again

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4 comments:

Drew said...: You blog with your mouth slightly open.; 15 July 2011 at 10:00
Anonymous said...: Well done on the Transformers drawing!; 15 July 2011 at 13:39
Anonymous said...: *LOVE*

And also, I'm pretty sure I've seen you wearing that hot white dress. Looking hot.; 15 July 2011 at 14:05
Esther said...: Optional extra: Make sure the action shots are so fast and choppy that people can't really tell what's going on, and feel slightly queasy, thereby distracting them from the fact that nothing makes any sense.; 17 July 2011 at 19:39

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